Tuesday, January 5, 2016

Review of 2015

Before I gather my thoughts for this post, I always look back at what I've written at the start of the year, my resolutions and my review of the previous year. I realized that 2014 was a tough year for me but I had support endlessly which I'm forever grateful for. Thinking that 2014 was tough, 2015 was worse, it was bitter sweet. Sadly it was more bitter than sweet, never would I have thought that I would have to go through this in such early stages of my life. I saw that I put importance on health and not taking life for granted in my review posts which somehow along the months I suddenly have forgotten. 

For the first 9 months of the year, there were some struggles but it had not crossed my mind that it was hard or tough and this was until an incident changed my life forever. My significant other passed away on 22nd October. That was the worst day of my entire life. I cannot even put words to how I felt that morning when I received the news. His heart stopped beating in the morning where he was in the hospital.

It's still hard to talk about what happened so I'll write it in a different post on a different day. When he left, I lost my best friend, my lover, my family, my soul mate and a big chunk of me. The pain is still here and will continue to be with me as 2016 goes on. His death truly reminded me that health is important and during all days that has passed since my family have been supportive. I am forever grateful to my family especially my mother and my sister who have been with me. They truly showed me so much love and care.

I just one day at a time, I do not want to think too much. For now, I just want to grief his death so I didn't bother to think about the resolutions that I have set out for 2015. Honestly, I tried my best and with the events that happened I don't really care whether I succeed or failed but I will evaluate myself. Below are my 2015 resolutions and my progress.

  • Eat healthily (I did manage to drink more water, less soda and also ate more vegetables)
  • Exercise once a week (Nope)
  • Plan my week and try to execute the plans (Worked for some weeks not all the time)
  • Plan more blog posts (Failed)
  • Learn more web development (Learnt a bit of javascript but have not practice it) 
  • Be more positive (I think I was for a brief moment) 
  • Grow more as person (I do care less what people think)
  • Always think before I speak (Yeap)
  • Control my emotions (Nope)
  • Read 50 books (Only managed 43 books)
In the end, I feel that nothing matters anymore without him by my side. I just carry on and live while hoping that I will see him again someday. I will forever remember 2015 because of the pain and devastation that has struck my life.  To those who had a great year I'm envious of you, and to those who had a terrible year I pray that it will get better for you. What I plan to do for the year I will post about my resolutions for 2016. but it won't be much as some days I have motivation, some days I have none. 

3 comments:

  1. Oh my dearest Li! I am so, so sorry for your loss. A thousand times, my heart goes to you. I will not belittle your sorry by trying to say I understand what you're going through--I don't, I can't, and I hope to not have to. I'm glad for the support you've had. I will send my thoughts and prayers. And, with each passing day, I hope you feel better. And, I know you'll never forget the memory of your significant other. I'll be here for you, sweetie.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Lonna for your kind concern. Life is unexpected and it seems like it was fated to happen. One thing's for sure, reading helps a lot. Reading gives me a little bit of joy when it's a good book.

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