I haven't been writing a post like this for a long time because I wasn't sure I should put my thoughts and feelings into words. For most of this year I have been trying to chase my dreams slowly but surely and at one point which was some months ago I thought of giving up as I couldn't see much results in it. I told myself that I'm working hard and I did but after reviewing myself I know that it's not enough.
I don't only have one dream and hence I have too many things to work on and thus I easily get distracted. I think I can multi task and handle more than one thing but it's easy to lose focus too. Even being a person who is persistence it isn't enough, you must really want it so bad, work so hard that even if you're tired you don't feel it. Reading is like that to me, even when I'm tired I still wanted to read and this passion is something that lasted longest in me.
Blogging is also a passion but I'm reluctant to write about personal things here. When it comes to reviewing I sometimes feel that I'm not qualified enough to do so and I worry much about view of others. I know all these are setbacks and excuses to just give up but I do have a small glimmer of hope and so I continue to blog when I feel like it. When I know I have to do something I always have the negative thought of it first before thinking of the positive effect. I look at the bad side of things before the brighter side and this is a major hold and myself committing to my dreams.
When those things came that I do some self reflecting I'm quite saddened by the result as I'm clearly far from my dreams and achieving something I should have been able to. The person holding me back is myself and since it was so clear it still is not enough. I know it is time to act more and think less because all those thoughts will just come rushing in and clouding up my passion and enthusiasm. After writing this, I feel a slight relieve that I am able to admit to the world I didn't work hard enough and that's why I am not where I thought I would be now. So end of my emotional episode, less thinking more working. I hope whoever who has many dreams and you really want it, don't think too much but work on it. Use the energy as efficient as you can and slowly but surely you will be there.