Sometimes I have so much in my head that I don't know how to tell someone, to share and get comforted. In this world that I kinda lost some hope on it, I just choose to keep quiet and ignore. But it's just too overwhelming that at some point I feel like giving up on mankind, on humanity. I guess writing it out like this is considered sharing with the world instead of talking to a person face to face which I sometimes are not that brave to do.
A few weeks ago I was at a point where I felt that this world needed an apocalypse, a major disaster to wake everyone up. Something to shake the world up and let them have a feeling that they themselves are not the world, they are not everything and I hoped that those arrogant people will feel useless and helpless instead of strutting around acting like King. People these days are very selfish and all they think about are themselves, benefits for them and more power. Some even use other people as excuses for doing what they're doing.
That day when I felt that way, a few things happened. I was on my way driving to a place and I needed to pass by a shopping mall area. There was 5 lanes and the furthest 2 right lanes are for other drivers to head to a different location. As usual at a place like this there were minor traffic jams and these are caused by people who drive at the right lanes and cut into the left lanes. I am an ethical driver and I know where I am headed so I always queue from the start before the lanes diverged. There are many who cut in on purpose because they don't want to queue at the long line, if however a person really took the wrong lane in the first place have the courtesy to put a signal light and say thank you or sorry at the driver you squeeze in, but no, nobody did that. That pissed me off because when I cut in because I had no choice I will apologise I don't drive like a ruffian and just squeeze people. This act is just so selfish, what have the world become of. I know I sound naive but since they are doing this kind of act I am sure they have done worse, it just shows what kind of a person you are even though it's just driving.
Another thing that happened on that weekend was my family and I went to dinner at a food court. For a weekend it was packed like hell and so we took quite some time to find a table. After finding a table we had to find a worker to clean the table, and so I courteously ask a person who was pushing a cart, " Please can you help clean this table". That person just continued to push his cart and nearly hit me with it. What kind of an attitude to portray when you are in this service line, I was mad and I wanted to complain to the manager for his attitude. I wasn't even demanding rudely to have him clean my table. This made me feel that sometimes some people don't deserve gratitude because they don't even serve you with gratitude. I have always say thank you to waiters who serve food, to people who just doing a bit because it's gratitude that I want to give from the bottom of my heart. I don't say it for the sake of saying it because I meant every word.
I get so piss and tired thinking about this world, figuring people out on their intentions. I agree some people have good intentions but this just seems to be getting less and less. Everyday I see this and I feel overwhelmed because there's nothing I can do about it, people don't act on inspiration or influence anymore, they all act based on selfishness. If only someone could prove me wrong but we all know this is so what's happening in this world. One day when all hell breaks loose, people will be "Every man for himself" and it's just not I want to see in the future.