Sunday, November 26, 2006


I often feel inferior when I'm in college or in CG. I'm always surrounded by intelligent people, friends of mine who have achieved much even though at a young age. When I look at them, I would think what I have achieved, my consistent answer is nothing. Even if some of my friends never achieved anything they have the urge to at least try something. That something could be something big one day. I love how my friends are, cause they've tried, and I just sit around doing nothing. Like Ronn and Eu Gene taking part in the HSBC entrepreneur competition, even people that I least expect is taking part, such as Bernard. I feel useless when I am around them. Then there is CG where two of my members who are also ex-apiitians. They have done so well, one of them is my cg leader and the other is best student of the year 2005.

Will I be able to do something as well? I'm not sure, I really want to but I just don't have what it takes to achieve something. I wanted my website to work, I did my best but there is still nothing that is done. I sometimes feel pathetic at myself for I could do more but I did not. I told myself to change and today I will do it. To do far more I could, far beyond my ability and I know all that will come with determination, hard work and passion. I will never think negative again for it brings down a person, subconsciously it weakens the human in mind, body and soul.

Does life mean more when you have achieved something? Maybe it does for certain people, some achieved so much that it is nothing special anymore. Some people need achievements to prove their existence, their talents. To be acknowledged so that the whole world would know who you are. I want to achieve things, things that God is proud of, cause what God sees in me is so much more important. But still I cant deny the fact that I too want people to acknowledge my talents, my gifts (if I do have it).

I once had a conversation telling a friend of mine how smart he is and how good he did in many areas of life. He told me that he himself feels that others around us do so much better than him too. He pointed out that we all look at others and feel the same way. You think I'm good and vice versa. It comforted me because we are all the same yet special in our own way. God created human the way He intended in the 1st place. So if you feel that you are dumb and inferior when you look at others, others look at you and think the same too.

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